I enthusiastically signed up for my friend's glass pendant making class with absolutely no reservations. She is an incredible artist, a patient and talented teacher, I was excited to tap into my creative side and try something new PLUS she had assembled a wonderful group of women, many of whom I am fortunate to call friends. THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME!
Then it happened, shortly after listening to the instructions, meeting the tools of the trade drooling over all the beautiful glass options and eyeing pendants already completed that made my heart race with gleeful expectation of my own unknown creations that I began to score my first piece of glass. ...CRACK! Oops, grabbed a second piece to score...YIKES crooked...We need 5 even pieces....Let's try again....ahhh YES! Nice straight score, Let's break this baby and make some jewelry...CRACK AND CROOKED...seriously!!...are you kidding me?.Why can't I get this? WTF!! I could hear other directions being called out in the fog of my concentration and then quite by surprise, I felt it coming...the trolls of my mind were trying to take over the drivers seat Oh no...as I was running out of glass to score my mind was happily filling the void with all kinds of creepy crawlers like self doubt, expectations, disappointment, failure, nerves, comfort zone alert, low confidence meter, perfectionism radar on overdrive and a "You suck at scoring" thrown in for good measure!
My mind was trying to throw a giant road block down one by one....No more creating for you...you're out...hasta 'la vista baby....you're no artist...walk away. I actually stood there for a few minutes doing nothing as everyone else around me was busy creating. I was at the ROADBLOCK of resistance... a minds standstill. OMG, This was very unfamiliar emotional territory for my usual "go with the flow" mindset AND THEN, in that pause of a breath, that one quiet moment, I saw it for what it really was...A pack of.LIES that stood between my beautiful new creations, the road to regret and the experience of the day. Yep, I could see clearly now what had to be done....I needed to use my muscle of kick-assery and take that roadblock down for the count!
Looking your feelings right in the eye is the first step to knowing who they are, As soon as I did that and chose...not today my friends... the "emotional sunshine" began to flood back in. I asked my friend to score a few for me (love how that sounds) and off I went happily creating in my own unique one-of-a-kind artistry way. Just as I had imagined, it was indeed an experience of a lifetime I will remember and cherish. It was such a fun class with creativity swirling about, laughter in the air along with squeals, moans and other noises of pure engagement while we ALL learned something new! .
LESSON: So often, we fail to take that pause and ponder what we really need, what we really want, what we really feel. We let the demons of our emotions stop us in our tracks too many times. I teach self-empowerment, I study embodied mindfulness and yet in moments of frustration or even anger our lesser selves, will often prevail in our human-ness over the quieter whispers of the loving, creative mind and heart. Do not let the trolls, demons and creepy crawler into your minds drivers seat. They are always happy to steer you in the wrong direction!
FAVORITE NEW QUOTE:
Learn to use your muscle of "KICK-ASSERY"
The muscle of kick-assery is like any other muscle - you have to use it or lose it.
Keep moving, keep growing, keep pushing through obstacles, keep evolving. You break through at one level, arrive at the next, and take another step up. Each time you grow, you get to learn something new, which basically means you have to get uncomfortable again because when you arrive at a level you've never been at before, you're faced with the challenges you've never experienced before.
It's the willingness to keep pushing through new challenges, not shrink from them back into your comfort zone, that separates the successful from the unsuccessful." And I might add the happy from the unhappy.
TAKE PAUSE and don't be afraid to use a little mind muscle every now and then to keep the REAL you in the drivers seat!
Special thank you to Katie Gruber. This blog may not have been had it not been for your private message. Also a BIG "heart" to J.D. for being the best art teacher EVER!! You have found your true calling by inspiring others, C.H. for offering to make me a ring at the end of class that didn't require me to score a single piece of glass...You rock! And finally to ALL the ladies I had the opportunity to share this time with. I was so impressed with the beautiful creations that kept unfolding. Excerpt Quote above from "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero.
Curly girl, teacher of yoga, anatomy, lifestyle coaching, facials and fascia. Passion: Teaching people how to find happiness & strength in their analog bodies & souls in a fast paced digital world.